A Fantastic SuperWhoLock Fanfiction
by jarsen4evs
Summary: We were most likely on drugs when this was written, our apologies to anyone who feels their fandom has been disgraced by this fanfiction.


In the Windom, MN highschool there weren't many kids. But there were many weed smokers. They had quite the personality and outsiders thought they were all interesting. So they decided to make a show of it. They

made a drama club where only kids that smoked weed were admitted in, many teachers thought that when the kids were high they put on a better show. Little did they know that they had a big surprise ahead on the drama

club road. They created a play where it was like two bros. Bromeo and Broliet. It was much like Romeo and Juliet. But they were bros. It was the story of two frat houses and after high school, Bromeo and Broliet were

separated. It was forbidden for the bros to interact with one another. But they did, and they did so secretly. The bros spent so much time together they started to fall in love, Bromeo and Broliet wanted to be together for the

rest of their sad frat house lives. They decided to meet up one night at runaway. They ran as far as their Tom Ford clad feet could carry them. Eventually they ran so far that they ended up back where they started. Because

they were stoners, they didn't even realise it and displayed their love for one another publicly. Then the Bro War started. Bros dropped left and right and eventually, only Bromeo and Broliet remained. It then became the

Hunger Games and they hunted each other. Bromeo became victorious as he slay his lover bro. Upset with himself, he smoked so much weed that he died. The stoner drama club performed this everywhere they went.

Soon President Obama heard of "Bromeo and Broliet" and said he wanted to see it in person. The club head to DC and performed in the President's home theatre. The President said the play was amazing and said he was

going to nominate them for "Best Drama Club of the Year". It was a tough and long road to the top but they made it nonetheless. There was a deafening roar of applause when they accepted their award. Han Solo, the club

leader was so amazed he dropped dead right there. Nobody noticed in their excitement. Han Solo's right hand man saw and began twerking victoriously. His name was Mitchell. Mitchell was one of the top performers of the

stoner drama club in Windom. He had made the whole play possible. But when he saw all the hot celebrities in the audience he called out "Jennifer Lawrence!", and ran out into the audience to meet her. A big fan of one

another, both began to fangirl. Mitchell fainted in Jennifer's arms. She was so excited that she fell over. The press thought this was just her clumsiness and simply took pictures, sending them to one another. Little did they

know that Jennifer Lawrence broke her legs. Soon Misha Collins saw the Jennifer wasn't standing up, but she was in face screaming in pain. Misha called Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki over to help her. They ran to her aid

and called 9-1-1. Meanwhile Misha attended to Mitchell, it seemed that he had concurred a concussion. Misha called another ambulance to his aid. The next morning Mitchell and Jennifer woke in the hospital next to one

another, "What had happened?" they wondered. Mitchell's hand snaked over to meet what he thought was Jennifer's only to find out that it was her broken leg. He squished it and giggled like a small child. It felt like flarp

putty. Jennifer screamed in pain as 5 nurses came in. Jennifer kept screaming while the nurses took MItchell out so his hearing would not be damaged. The nurses drugged Jennifer with several pain medications, they

proceeded to wheel her into another room to get her legs put into casts. They put the casts on, gave Jennifer a wheel chair and discharged her from the hospital with 25 different medications, some for pain while others were

to make sure her bones stayed strong and healthy. Meanwhile in London, Benedict Cumberbatch was scheming against the drama club. He would bring them down and yell "TIMBER!" as he did so. He prepared by sharpening

his dangerous cheekbones and curling his fierce hair (back to his natural ginger at the time) and then got on his private jet with Mark Sheppard, his British bro. He called up Jared and Jensen and told them about his plan.

Benedict said that he had seen the the right hand man of the club go down at the Award show., Jensen asked "Was he with mah homie Lawrence?" Benedict replied very nonchalantly "Yes, as a matter o' fact he was." Jared

and Jensen then told the whole story finally ending with the fact that Mitchell was in the hospital with a very serious concussion. Benedict took this news to heart, and continued evilly to Jared and Jensen "This makes our

job of bring down those stoners a whole lot easier." Jennifer hadn't expected that her end of the plan would end this way. She was looking forward to killing Mitchell herself. She hoped that Tom Hiddleston would be there to

do it for her. Maybe even Matt Smith. She signed and returned to her ramen noodles. Jensen suddenly realised that this was wrong. "What's in it for me, Benny?" Benedict scowled. "Pie, Jensen. Lots and lots of pie. For Jared,

you can have your shoe back. Mark… you can have a taco." All three looked and Cumberbatch and watched him slink around the room with a sneer on his face. Quickly Jensen grabbed Benedict and slammed him against the

wall, "Benedict, you can't just kill a bunch of innocent kids because they took our award!" Jared joined in "Yeah! Just because your show sucks doesn't mean you need to hurt those kids." While those three had been fighting

Mark had slipped out the door. Mark was secretly Team Mitchell. He was going to start the second American Revolution. He was betraying his tea loving people for the sake of American entertainment. He always did like

Supernatural better than when he guest starred those few times on Doctor Who. Benedict pointed out that Supernatural didn't win the award either and that sent Jared into a frenzy. He suddenly grew his moose antlers and

plowed into Benedict. Benedict turned into Smaug and lit Jared on fire. BUT Jared was okay. His mooseness protected him. Mark had rushed to the hospital Mitchell was staying in and warned him as to what was about to

happen, when Mitchell didn't listen Mark shouted "KID, IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF THIS HOSPITAL AND COME WITH ME YOU WILL DIE. And that is no lie." Mitchell hopped up and groaned in pain, Mark pulled

some heavy painkillers and made a look that said "Don't ask where I got these, just take one and come with me." They jumped into Mark's car which he had borrowed from Jensen. a '67 chevy Impala, on the way to a

undisclosed location Mark explained to whole situation to Mitchell, who seemed to be just a little out of it. He kept asking questions about Jennifer, what had happened, who he was, why he was there. All Mark would say is

"Don't worry about it kid, you're safe as long as you come with me and trust me." Jared and Jensen walked out on the British League together and realised the Impala was gone. They swore violently and cursed at Mark.

Jensen looked up into Jared's eyes and forgot about what was going on. This was a Tumblr moment, one he had seen on his secret blog called Jarsen4Evs. Jared looked curiously at Jensen as all his anger seemed to melt

away, his eyes grew far and distant as if he was thinking of something sad. Jensen saw a confused look on Jared's face, all Jensen could think of was PIE. Jared and Jensen walked down town and rented a car, and brand new

escalade. They drove to the first place they could think that Mark might be, the hospital. When they arrived the nurse informed them that Mitchell's "father" had checked him out of the hospital less than an hour ago. Jensen

swore and stormed out of the place, Jared apologised to the nurse and ran after Jensen. They called Benedict and told him this new information. Jared asked Jensen why he would call him, do they really want another war

between Britain and America? Jensen pondered these thoughts for a while and told Jared that they would be workers for both sides. Benedict's lips curled into his creepy Grinch smile. Jared pursed his lips and Jensen looked

up at the moose and licked his lips. He knew what he would be doing tonight. Maybe if they were lucky, Benedict would include killing Gen and Daneel for them. He could only hope. Jensen smiled up at Gigantor and began

climbing that shit like a tree. Jared looked lovingly at Jensen and knew exactly what he wanted but that would have to wait, they had to save these kids. Mark drove down the highway to Las Vegas, he was sure Mitchell

would be safe there. Mitchell's headache had subsided. Mark walked Mitchell into the hotel he had rented out. He went to the room Mitchell would be staying in for the time being. He opened the door and was immediately

attacked. Jennifer sat by the bed in her wheelchair with knife in hand, slowly she rolled toward Mitchell and said "I can't wait until this knife sticks into your heart and you bleed everywhere. THAT AWARD WAS MINE YOU

LITTLE BITCH, MINE!" Mitchell gasped. "I had other plans. Your legs are squishy. I like dem legs. I will have those legs." By some demonic miracle, Jennifer threw the knife with perfect accuracy and it landed in Mitchell's

heart. He screamed like a five year old girl and writhed in pain on the floor. He then stopped moving. "What the hell did you do that for?" Mark demanded. Jennifer laughed. "Little did you know that I am secretly British. Tom

Hiddleston is my brother. I will not leave his side." She then turned on her wheelchair and soared through the wall, cackling like a witch. Mark called to inform the American leader. He was this boss ass bitch named Robert

Downey Jr. Robert was not pleased. He knew a war was bound to happen now. "I will get my Iron Man suit. You go get Jim Beaver, another boss ass bitch. Run free my little butterfly." Soon Benedict had gathered all the

British actors except Mark(that traitor). On the American side Mark had gathered many American celebrities, except the Kardashians. They would be used as bait to bring the British coming. This was the beginning of the

Great American and British Celebrity War or GAaBCW. Benedict came up with a game plan, Jennifer disapproved of this and would not participate in it, already there was mayhem among the Brits. The American side however

got along fabulously. Meanwhile, while doing "research," Jared and Jensen had found their way to a crappy motel room where they were getting it on like Donkey Kong. Jensen would be writing great slashfic on his blog. He

giggled uncontrollably, earning a confused look from Jared. "Shut up," he grumbled, getting back to their little fangirl fantasy. Benedict sat at a long table next to Martin Freeman, his Homie G, and sighed in exasperation. This

was going nowhere. He had written numerous game plans and nobody could agree. They all argued about who was the best actor or whatever it was they did. But one thing they did agree on. One Direction would be used as

bait. Misha rambled on and on about how unfair it was the Jared and Jensen always got to leave the hotel site to do their research on war strategies whilst everyone else had to stay at the hotel, the police had removed

Mitchell's body but the smell still remained. The hotel maids had tried their best to clean it out but everyone refused to stay in the room. Mark told Misha to stop his complaining and to just let Jared and Jensen go about

doing their research off campus, they got the most work done out the the entire group anyway, so why try to stop them now? Misha sat back in his chair and pouted like a little kid. Tom Hiddleston bursted through the door

of the British base with his machine gun arsenal. Benedict looked up with a rather confused expression on his face. "And Jennifer?" Tom stroked the gun in his hand. "I have no idea where she is. I saw a little gun store and

couldn't resist. They were having a sale. Then I bought a Jaguar. You know your voice is the GPS? I drove in circles and just listened to you talking. It was lovely." Benedict waved him off. "I am quite a lovely person. Have

you met my Cumberbitches?" He stood and called attention to his psychotic army of Brits. "Tonight we strike! Mr. Tennant, go find Jared and Jensen. See if they are on our side. We could use a moose." David got to his feet

and walked out, unaware of the sight he would find behind a door of the motel next door. A computer was open on the desk, he looked at it and saw the search box "British War Strategies." He walked in the bathroom,

toothbrushes, a hairbrush, and several used towels. He walked out and looked at the couch, two shirts lay on the floor next to it. The television was turned up to full volume. The door to the bedroom was closed, he could

hear another T.V on up to full volume in there. He slowly opened to door to hear moans. He didn't know what it was, for the blue of the TARDIS filled his mind, making him draw a blank. Then he saw it. Jensen on top of

Jared. He was quite intrigued, stopping to watch a moment. Then he remembered Benedict's orders and cleared his throat. Jared jolted up, Jensen flying off the bed. David walked over, his eyes averted the other way. "Mr.

Cumberbatch would like to see you. With clothes, I highly suggest." Jared threw the clock and screamed at David to leave them alone and they'd get around to it eventually. Jensen butted into the conversation "You can tell

Benedict that we have no interest in your side, we will destroy you and all your little Brits. Yes, even you David. You are nothing but a scummy Brit to us now. But, you could still join our side, the right side." David turned " I

have no interest in the side who allows abominations like you two, gays, it's just not right." Jensen made a sound in his throat "David, what happened to you? You used to be kind to everyone, people of all race and religion.

But suddenly, sexuality is all that matters?" David started walking out of the motel room, as he closed the door he could hear Jensen's voice "David, I'm ashamed of you." David didn't want to be set on fire by Smaugbatch.

He felt bad about what he had said to the boys on the other side of the door. The 'batch got pretty scary sometimes. His feelings put aside, David walked back next door and silently walked up. "They have chosen the losing

side, sir." Benedict closed a binder. "We've come to a conclusion that you will be my right hand. Together we will kill those nasty Americans. Did you see anything there, David? You seem strange." David swallowed. "Nothing,

Benedict. It was nothing." Benedict closed his folders. "Now we strike." David gathered all the Brits and gave them instructions, "At the exit there will be two men handing out weapons, get one from them and line up on the

street in four lines. Then await further instruction." Soon the streets were filled with British actors, dressed in their designer camo. Back in Las Vegas the Mark called up a meeting, he phoned Jared and said that him and

Jensen needed to get back to the hotel as soon as possible. They grabbed their things and dashed into the street, then they saw the Brits, all lined up and ready for battle. Jared and Jensen crawled around to the back of the

building starting the Impala and taking all the backroads to the hotel. When they arrived they told Mark the Brits were coming, and they were ready to fight. The Americans scrambled and Mark called them back to order. He

told them to head to the store rooms in the basement, that would be where they would find their weapons. They ran down, they not only found weapons but hand grenades, bombs, and specially designed suits with their

names on them. Each suit was tailored to cover up the wears weakness, many of the women fighters found that their suits covered their eyes so the enemy could not see when they cried and their mascara ran. They geared

up and headed out to the streets where Peter Capaldi stood at the front of the lines of the Brits. Though the man was old, he knew exactly what he was doing. "Come on fuckers, we are going to fuck shit up." They began to

march. Benedict and David watched over the beginning battle. The Americans heard Benedict from outside yelling for them to come out and fight and not sit in that hotel like pussys. Mark walked out and said we are ready to

fight, David fired the first shot. But to the Brits amazement he didn't die, instead the bullet simply flew backwards and hit David square in the chest, he died almost instantaneously. Mark gave a smile, and opened the door.

Thousands of American celebrities came out, loaded with weapons. Mark looked up and saw fear in Benedict's eyes. The war had begun. A rather stupid war it was. The British against the Americans in a war over an award.

They all knew this deep down but knew that it was too late to quit. They couldn't just shake hands and it would all be fine. In the back of Benedict's mind he knew that he never should have started this, it was child's play

being upset over a damn award. Mark threw a mischievous look over his shoulder back at Benedict. All of a sudden in the midst of the quiet Mark exclaimed "We are adults. If we start this war we will be killing our co-stars,

people we have worked with in the past. Benedict sat down and started to cry, he cried because he had that kid, Mitchell, killed. He cried because David was dead, one of his best friends. Mark came up and gave Benedict a

hug, when Benedict pulled out a knife and stabbed Mark in the back, this was his revenge for killing David. Benedict's eyes sparkled with the light of a fresh kill. He wasn't going to let the death of his best friend go. Benedict

got to his feet confidently after dusting off his boots. "You lot are pathetic! You sit and watch your shitty leader get killed and don't do a darn thing about it! If you are all wound up about this war, why not fight it?" He turned

to Capaldi. Mark was going to be a future costar of his. "You know what to do Capaldi! Lead our men and women to victory!" Capaldi turned to face Benedict " No, I won't. If you want these people killed you'll have to do it

yourself. I don't want to take a part in this dumbass war over an award." Benedict's face turned bright red and then he turned to his Brits " Kill them. Kill them all", but before he could say another word he heard a

thundering behind him. It was the American army, lead by Capaldi himself. Benedict's eyes no longer had the victorious gleam to them. They widened in utter fear. He watched as Tom began to fire at the American's true to

his friend until the end. Benedict caught one that was thrown at him and began to fire. He watched as Misha fell and as Martin, his best friend hit the ground with a thud. Benedict ran over to him, tossing his own safety

aside to aid his friend. Martin had been shot in the thigh, a huge hole ripped through the flesh. Suddenly there was a spark. Benedict didn't notice it though, his eyes fixated on his friend. His ears felt as if they had been

broken due to all of the gunfire. As Misha lay on the ground dying he looked around Jared and Jensen were no where to be seen. His life seemed to slip away from him slowly and surely when at last he took his last breath.

The great Misha Collins was dead. The war raged on around the hotel, in the basement of the hotel Jensen looked up at Jared and whispered "I love you Jared. I love you more than I love pie." A tear fell from Jared's eye as

he looked at Jensen and kissed him. Jensen slowly turned around and started to walk towards the stairs that led to the war. "Let's go see if Cas, I mean Misha, is alright." The two ran up the stairs hearing the grenades

exploding on the ground above them. When they got to the lobby they got their guns ready. They walked out into the battle looking for that familiar face of Misha. They finally reached the end of a street, right in front of a

strip club. "Ugh, i hate those places." Jared looked at in disgust. When he got no reply from Jensen he looked down. Jensen sat on the ground cradling a familiar face in his lap. "Misha." the word escaped Jared's lips with the

smallest gasp. He stroked the soft dark hair and pulled him away from the heart of the fight, over Christopher Eccleston's body and someone's lone leg. His blue eyes were lifeless. The baby blue had once given Jared hope

and brightened his day. Jared looked at Jensen just standing there. Slowly almost zombie like Jensen made his way to Jared. It was hard for Jared to see Jensen this way, neither of the boys were in no shape to fight. Jared

more alert than Jensen heard some scuffling around a corner, he pulled Jensen and Misha's body into a small cramped alleyway. While they sat in the alley Jared and Jensen held each other and cried in each other's arms.

Benedict told the Brits to retreat, or what little Brits there were left. They marched back to their hideout in an old warehouse. The American's, with their leader gone gathered the dead, it was tragic. Tom Cruise decided to

take charge, he called for Jensen and Jared, but they were nowhere to be found. Channing Tatum walked around looking for them. He eventually found them in the alley holding each other crying with Misha's body nearby.

Channing sighed and approached the weeping Supernatural stars. "It's over guys. Benedict retreated. We are going to have a large funeral. We'll have everyone cremated and distribute the ashes. I've already claimed Scarlett

Johansson's boobs." Channing realised they weren't paying attention and walked away, wiping blood and sweat from his forehead. Jared and Jensen slowly got up and carried Misha's body with them. They didn't want Misha's

body cremated, they would give him a proper burial, casket and all. Questions circulated wildly through Jared's head, how many of us are dead, will Jensen still love me after this, what will happen to our show now that Misha

is dead? Misha was not only a great friend to them, but an amazing father of two. What would West and Maison do? West was so close to his father. Jared couldn't imagine how Thomas would feel if he lost his father. They

carried Misha back to their motel and let him lie on the sofa, not wanting him to be where he had fucked Jensen raw. Jared was terrified what if Gen and Daneel found out about him fucking Jared. Should he just end it with

Gen for Jensen? All of his instincts pointed to yes. He didn't have to time to think about it. He enveloped Jensen in an embrace and smacked his ass. Jensen pulled away from his arms and gave him a dirty look "Jared, now is

not the time to get horny. Our best friend just died." Jensen turned and called Tom Cruise to find out what was happening. "Not many from our side are dead. But where are you?" Tom inquired, "We are at a motel. We have

Misha's body with us. We want to give him a proper burial." "Alright, just come back to the hotel as soon as you can. Those British bitches have lost more men and women than they can count. They won't dare to come

back." Jensen hung up the phone and looked longingly at Jared, he could see that Jared was desperate for him. Jensen began to quiver with desires as he looked up at Jared's pretty hazel eyes. Once again flannel was throw

onto the floor and Jared grabbed Jensen, kissing him violently. Jared pulled Jensen onto the bed and slowly took off his jeans. Jared looked into Jensen's eyes, the green eyes pierced him through. Jared felt a his dick start

rising and tore off his jeans and threw them across the room. They were both now only in their boxers. Jensen begged Jared and off came the boxers, soon Jared was on his knees sucking Jensen so hard. Jared stopped and

kissed Jensen, then they traded places. Soon that wasn't enough. In the midst of all this Jared and Jensen forgot all of their pain of losing Misha. They got up and got dressed and carried Misha's body back to the hotel. Tom

had been waiting for them and was very pleased to see them. He gave them his deepest regrets about Misha and called them up to his room after they had placed Misha's body aside from the others. Gravely Tom started

"Many stars have died today. They were great people wether they were on our side or not. I have contacted Benedict to come and make a peace treaty." Jensen looked at him and started "After this war Jared and I resign our

places as stars. We have other lives to attend to." "It is none of my business of wether or not you quit. Your show wouldn't be much without Misha anyway." Tom looked away, "I truly am sorry boys, Misha was a great man

and he will truly be missed." Jared calmly said "We better call the cops and tell them what happened." Tom looked up startled "I did call them and the thing is…" He slowed "they said there was no fighting in front of this hotel

at all, and then I gave them the names of the ones who had died and the sheriff said that all of those people were in their homes, he even called some of them to verify." Jensen looked away "If that is true than Misha is still

alive?" "He was the only one that couldn't be reached, his wife said he hasn't been home for four days." Jared stood up, he stormed out. Jensen, the calm one this time said "How can that be?"


End file.
